I found THIS to be interesting.
I don’t want to get to involved (in an internet kind of way) but a few questions jumps to my mind from Miss Beaton’s point:
Why cornering the subject just to female creators? Don’t male creators receive the same kind of commentaries? And if so, aren’t they as “uncomfortable, sexist and unfair”?
And to balance the scale, this guy’s response by the end of his intent of being sarcastic kinda started to miss the point.
Please, let me know your thoughts about it.
Mario A.~
I have known people born with a chip on their shoulder, they are so easy to offend that is ridiculous.
If they cant take a compliment like that, maybe they should post, along with their works a list of rules for criticism and compliments.
Like this guy said (when he came back to the point after wandering in sarcasm), sometimes a compliment is just a compliment.
What bothered me was the fact of only making it a problem if you are a woman. She speaks about saying that compliment is being unfair. Isn’t it unfair as well to just corner it to one particular gender?
“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar” -Sigmund Freud.
I’ll direct you to this, just some responses to the one you linked. I didn’t write it, but there are some things they mention that I think explain WHY it is offensive to women. Some of these points could be applied to men, as well.
I get both sides of the argument, but this is the key thing: Guys don’t get to decide what is and isn’t offensive to women. Just like we don’t get to decide what is and isn’t offensive to men.
I remembered something I discussed with a (female) friend the other day from something this person said about women being harrassed on the streets. She basically said it a matter of perseptions. If some sort of commentary is directed to a woman walking down the street, if they guy is good looking, they take it as a compliment, if the guy is average looking or below, he’s being a rude jerk.
And yeah, no part should decide what is or not offensive to the others, the problem comes when they pretend they can.
Personally I don’t like being harassed if the guy is or isn’t attractive, because either way, being scared/harassed/raped sucks. And even with people I do know who are male, I still feel unease in the back of my mind because too many times a male ‘friend’ goes rouge. And if I do begin to like them, and they pull weird comments like that, it makes me second thought the friendship. I’ve had a scary experience with a male ‘friend’ of mine.
You can’t get angry because she simply said “female artists”. She said specifically because she was referring to her peer group, as gays also refer to theirs. Women struggle together the same way gays struggle together. As a female artist people think my business card is a ‘date me’ card and never treat me as a professional, take me seriously, and often use my talent to try and get into my pants. They also seem to think I or my female artist peers are just lost birds who need to be saved… I’ve also had commission clients making the commission work as something ‘personal’ as if we were dating and some kind of ‘team’ when all I was doing was my job.
When men get all bent out of shape because we speak out for our fellow women, it just makes the situation worse, it upsets us more, and then you’ll end up with a war eventually. People need to stop getting all bent out of shape over ‘specifics’ because most of the time we’re not even meaning to offend people with singling out. We’re just trying to make a point for what we’re dealing with personally.
oops, I meant rogue, not rouge.
There’s a difference between being harassed/stalked to just a comment of appreciation to someone’s work.
The commentary itself isn’t bad, it’s just that, a commentary, it depends on every individual to take it as they want.
It IS bad and not doing a favor to anybody when it doesn’t stop there. When the person becomes, in fact, a stalker and an annoyance. When the person has to contact the other one in every way, shape or form, and does not get the idea to cut it out.
And saying it from my perspctive, yet, not making it a male related thing. Best example is I have various female friends who completely disagree with Miss Beaton’s stand of making it a feminist rant.
Well I know others who are saying the guy was joking and she got bent out of shape? Which is facepalmy. But what bothers me most is people just shitting their pants cause she said “female” artist lol! Even as artists as a whole we experience diff problems depending on gender, age, peers etc. Like males have trouble with golddiggers, and women have trouble with perverts (this is a very watered down, basic example of course).
But when it all comes down to it, I think both sides are overreacting to be honest, and are having miscommunication/misunderstandings. It depends on the individual, what they’re used to/have experienced and so forth, you know?
El comentario no deja de ser baboso, eso de que “podrÃa casarme contigo y hacerte un bebé” para nada es un cumplido sea mujer, hombre o lo que sea, es un comentario baboso y ya…. juar juar.,…
Hay gente que se toma ciertas cosas muy en serio. a veces demasiado en serio.
(ACHTUNG! be ready for a wall of text)
Well, as been said already, beauty is in the eye that catches it, some people might take it as a compliment, some people might take it as creepy, some people might be offended by it, however feeling it aimed to be sexist is just taking feminazism just a bit too far?
As the writer said already, the ideology behind the comment is: you brought something beautiful to the world and i strongly appreciate you for it, so much that i would be happy to share the rest of my life with you; the baby making idea has also a quite simple thought about it, if the author (male or female, i give a f’ about gender) is able to bring something that gorgeous to the world, it’s only natural to assume kids will come out just great, nature makes us look for a partner that will improve our genes on the offspring, it’s deeply engraved into our genetic code
Now back to feminazism, the word was invented to make it evident where women are taking feminism way too far, particullary when they apply feminism just when it’s convenient for them, they are an equal when they’re looking for a job, but a lady in distress when they’re looking for an empty seat on the bus or a place on the line, equal means EQUAL, if they want privileges that’s perfectly fine to me, as long as they’re willing to put up with the consequences
Take for example the Twilight moms phenomena, if those were 40 year old men screaming for 17 year old girls, someone would have already called the police, just because they’re women it’s suddenly ok?
Saying a comment is eerie is perfectly fine, saying that it disturbs you is great, setting lines that should be respected is only normal, however saying that it’s aimed at your gender and discriminative… it’s just wrong
So is she saying that if it was a girl saying that to a male artist it would be perfectly fine? that men cannot say they would like to marry a girl because of her artistic work, but girls can say that to guys and it’s ok? she could have just said “i find your comment disturbing” but it’s definitely not sexist in any way
I absolutely have no words to add to this. Well, just maybe: Bravo!
Double Bravo!!!
I agree with you, mainly in 3rd and 4th paragraphs. I’ve been thinking about this since a very long time, but in some part of the “journey” I started to think I was wrong. Is good to learn I’m not. Thanks.
Creo que ambos comentarios están fuera de lugar. Aquella que critica los comentarios (que pupulan en internet, y si no lo sabes y lo aceptas a estas alturas quiere decir que te falta algo de madurez y paciencia) y aquél que critica a la que critica (Que, si bien es sólo por joder, si vas a criticar algo debes mantenerte bajo el tema de lo que estás criticando. ¿De dónde chingados se sacó este wey todo ese rollo de las parejas gay y eso? Si bien es gracioso e inclusive cierto, no viene al caso).
Punto.
Fue una exageracion en ambos puntos.
Silly problems by silly people and making a big silly deal out of it on the silly internet.
Sorry, but that is my thought.
You actually nailed it perfectly, man.
well, im one of “those people” that says “will you marry me??” when i love someone’s work.
im a woman, so that means i ask random guys to marry me all the time
so i agree with your point: “its not a problem only for women”
in any case, of course, i dont seriusly ask them to marry me! if anyone actually want to marry me back, that would be so weird hahaha
(and i dont ask them to marry me because of their looks, just because they’re talented)
But back to the point! i never intend that kind of commentaries to be offensive, its my way of saying “hey you are totaly awesome! i love your work”
Errr… well we all know there is all kinds of freaky people out there, so this kind of stuff should only become of importance when the fan becomes a real stlaker and his/her attitude becomes agressive.
thats what i think!
Exactly! When they ACTUALLY mean it, it’s when there’s a problem. When there’s an obvious joke to make an emphasis on how much someone likes someone else’s work, it’s JUST a joke.
But then again, in Kate Beaton’s universe, you are wrong because you “don’t get the problem”. Even being a woman. Which makes it all more complicated to understand her “point”.
AW MAI GAWD MARIO, QUIERO TENER TUS HIJOS, YA MISMO. VEN ACA. *se arranca la camisa*
lolsarcasmo: hace a la vida mas hermosa.
Asi es, pero algunos no lo entienden.